Hello. First of all I doubt anyone would be wandering around here, so I wouldn't bother with the wishy-washy writer stuff that most writes about first-handed. (Shit, the irony of what I did!)

I couldn't think of anything better in my life than playing trivial games and watching the same old movies so I've decided to write the most miniscule things I could think of.

Shit, almost 2 years of actually doing nothing productive in my life is depressing. I could be suffering from social anxiety disorder, or maybe I'm just lazy. I VOTE FOR BOTH!!!

Quick recap:
College dropout: check
Jobless and without experience: check
Shut-in: check
Still a pessimist: check
Hopeless in life: fucking check

I still plan on doing something with my boring life, but I feel I should really take my time, or scoop enough self-confidence/esteem/shit leftovers that I have and go out there..

Quick change of topic. So recently I've met this honest-to-goodness girl which a friend introduced. Honestly saying, and of course as usual as it happens everytime, (Dunno what to say.. should I say I've fallen? Attracted? In love? No, big words.) but gravity's definitely doing it's work.

It's actually been a long while since I've caught up with the opposite sex, last time I met a new one was in school 2-3 years ago. Holy shit, I'm miserable aroung girls! (Or people, in general.)

So going back, she sparked something dormant in me, like my hope in my social skills (STILL INTACT!! But still oh so awkward.) and weirdly speaking, dreams of me and her in the future. Like shit, guys do this okay? Right? Right???? (I believe we do.. or is it just hopeless romantics?)

However, I believe it's still too early to make "moves" since we've literally just met couple of days, chatted for a bout a couple of minutes.. So the relationship status is: "Friends"-Through-A-Common-Acquiantance-But-Still-Not-Considered-Friends-Or-Even-Acquiantance-Yet,-Maybe-Getting-To-Know-There-Strangers?

But still, even if I did the most holiest of miracles that I could ever think of, seeing the way I am right now it's impossible to progress with her. But hey, it's not my ulterior motive about her. Hell, it's not even about me anymore. (Does that even makes sense????????)

So I should seriously stop thinking about my opportunistic thoughts and focus on something else, like how I could do something with my life. At least, talking with her keeps my sanity in check, so there's it going for me.

I'm not going to expect much, but I figure good things will happen even if things go south. Shit. so much for my first post it makes my head hurt.