What a rollercoaster of shit emotions. Been alright the past days, but these days, man. Wrong fucking move. Should've never done it. But eh, I did diddly done it and either I could own it up or just be a pussy, in which I was already regarded as.
As if I had any to begin with, wow, self-confidence, esteem, ego or some other self-defining shit has soared rock bottom. Or maybe drowned? Whatever. I just, lost hope.
Also, it's amazing to see how just one word from her could tear me down like that. I could take it from anybody else, sure. But her? With the savage one-liner she did, bam. Gone away. Broken down my walls and shook me to my very core like it was nothing.
Shitty social skills. Shitty weak moves. 'Moves'. Fuck it. It's over. It's now official, I'm a vegetable. Should've been a loner from the very start. Now I know. Either stay alone, or try hard to change just to see a little glimmer in my social life. Goddamn why does this have to be so hard.
Just goes to show how weak a person I am. Wrecked by a word so hard.
But fuck it. Whatever goes. Should've been sleeping but hey, here I am drinking and shit. I bet tomorrow's palpitations will continue. What a great week.
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